Father Figure All that and more
by Catty
Summary: The knocking together of two of the world's most stubborn soulmates
1. Default Chapter

Father figure - All that and more.  
  
For days now, Alex had been watching Claire. Watching her bond with her daughter, watching her fall in love with her child, watching the woman he loved grow closer and create an invisible eternal tie with the child of another man. Alex sighed softly. It didn't matter now. What mattered now was Claire. The way Alex felt was secondary, Claire was the important one. Claire and the baby. Claire.  
  
Alex sighed again, and pushed his feelings to the back of his mind, allowing himself a small self-deprecating smile. He'd known for a while now that he was in love with Claire. And he knew that she would never love him, well maybe as a friend, but not as he loved her. Not with an all-consuming passion, with a love so true that he had lost interest in anyone else. Claire saw him as a best friend and nothing more. And Alex knew that he would have to take what he could get. And if all Claire was offering was friendship, then Alex was willing to take friendship - however much more he craved.  
  
A small whimper from the cot beside him was all that was needed before Alex reached into the cot and picked Charlotte up. Holding her carefully, he moved out onto the veranda and sat down, moving Charlotte so that she lay across his lap, so that he could watch her, could stare down into her big blue eyes. Claire was asleep, the trauma of the birth was finally catching up with her - and now she knew that Charlotte was in safe hands, she was letting herself relax more. Letting other people take charge - as long as they did things her way. Claire had left Meg a list of things to do if Charlotte woke up while Claire slept, a list that Meg had read through and then 'adapted' to reality. Much as Meg adored little Charlotte, the world did not revolve around the baby, however Claire felt at the moment. Meg had things jobs that she needed to be getting on with, and Alex had turned up just at the right moment.  
  
"Alex, would you mind watching Charlotte for a moment while I put the washing out?"  
  
Alex grinned at Meg.  
  
"Me? Baby-sit? What does Claire say?"  
  
"She's asleep and what she doesn't know, won't hurt. But for the sake of our sanity, perhaps we shouldn't tell her just yet?"  
  
Meg grinned back at Alex, knowing full well that Claire wouldn't object to Alex looking after Charlotte - not really anyway. Sure she might SAY she objected, but Meg knew Claire. Knew that if there were anyone outside the family that she would trust with her daughter, that it would be Alex Ryan. That Claire would ultimately trust Alex with anything and everything - Drovers Run, her family, her daughter and Meg hoped, eventually her heart.  
  
Alex stared down at the baby on his lap; her small fist wrapped tightly around his little finger. She stared up at him, and Alex fell in love all over again. He smiled at her and began to talk.  
  
"You and I need to talk, Charlotte. I need to tell you something, and I need you to keep it between the two of us. Yeah, right - who are you going to tell?" He smirked down at her. "Anyway, I need to tell you this Charlotte, you need to know this." Alex paused again, the words rattling around inside his head - he had to say this, it had been eating away at him for some time now, and he had to say it out loud - even if it were to a tiny baby who wouldn't understand him - let alone be able to respond.  
  
"Charlotte, you are a very lucky young lady. You have a family who love you, an Aunt who adores you and a bunch of adopted Aunts who would do anything for you. Your Uncle Nick finds you fascinating and then there's me." Alex stopped, closing his eyes as he cast around for the best way to say what he was feeling. It had all seemed so easy to say when he was practicing it in his mind, but now, now he was saying it out loud, when this was a whole other matter. Throwing back his head, Alex laughed out loud - just say it, you knob, he told himself.  
  
"Charlotte, I want to tell you that if there's ever anything you need, anything you want, you can always come to me. Always. I'll be there for you however and whenever you need me. I'm as close as you can get to a father - that Johnson knob doesn't count for anything. You don't need him Charlotte, not when you've got me. And neither does your Mum. I'll always be around Charlotte, I'll take care of you and I'll - I'll love you just as much as any father could. As much - as much as I love your Mother. She's a good woman, Charlotte; she's beautiful, strong, independent and extremely stubborn. And I love her, Charlotte. I always have and I always will. You should be my daughter, Charlotte." He sighed. "But you're not, and there's not much I can do about it. But you need to know this. I love you Charlotte, and I love your Mum, and, well, I'll always be around if you need me."  
  
Charlotte gurgled up at Alex, a small baby smile playing around the corners of her tiny mouth. Alex grinned back at her.  
  
"And you don't understand a word I've just told you, do you?"  
  
A small sound behind them made Alex jump. Meg moved over to sit beside him, smiling down at Charlotte.  
  
"Alex, you need to talk to Claire."  
  
"Meg, no, I - it doesn't matter. I can't tell her, she'd laugh in my face - " at Meg's disapproving look, he amended that. "Ok, so maybe she wouldn't - but she doesn't need me telling her all of this now. Not when she's finally getting herself back on track. Meg, I've always loved her and I reckon I always will, but why rock the boat by telling her now? She doesn't need it and it's not going to happen, Meg. Not a word, not to anyone." Carefully, and with all of the pride of a new father, he handed Charlotte to Meg and stood, gently stroking Charlotte's soft downy hair. "Not a word. Charlotte is all Claire needs right now. I can wait." And with that he moved off the veranda, and into his Ute, the dust roaring as he drove off.  
  
Meg looked down at Charlotte, shielding her eyes from the dust.  
  
"Charlotte, Alex is right you know. You are a lucky girl. Your Mum adores you and your Dad? Well, let's just say that as of today Alex is your Dad. He loves you and he loves your Mum and I'm going to see to it that they find their way to each other if I have to bang their heads together to do so. OK?"  
  
Meg stood up and cradled the baby to her, carrying her back into the kitchen and tucking her into the bassinet. Claire shuffled downstairs, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she came into the kitchen.  
  
"Was that Alex causing that dust storm?" she asked. Meg smiled, her new knowledge of Alex's feelings making her more aware than ever of the bond between the two of them. Claire always seemed to know when Alex was around, and vice versa.  
  
"MmHm. He babysat while I put the washing out. He's good with her, isn't he? He could be a good father figure for her." She said, plunging her hands into the hot water in the washing up bowl.  
  
Claire looked askance at Meg, all traces of sleep vanishing.  
  
"Meg, Charlotte has a father, and it's not Alex" - however much I wish it was, thought Claire. Her eyes widened as the thought sank in. Where had that come from? Pushing it away to the back of her mind, Claire continued talking. "Peter has a right to get to know her, and I'm not going to stand in his way. He has a right to see her if he wants to."  
  
Meg turned round and held up dripping hands.  
  
"Claire! Claire, hey, calm down. I'm not arguing. I'm just saying that seeing as Peter isn't around, that Alex would be a good replacement. He obviously adores Charlotte and you and he, well you've always been close - I was just saying - "  
  
"Well don't. Alex isn't Charlotte's father and that's an end to it." Claire scooped Charlotte up and took her back out onto the veranda. Meg sighed and turned back to the dishes, this was going to prove harder than she had thought.  
  
Claire sat in the late afternoon sun cradling Charlotte to her chest. The depth of emotions she felt for her daughter had surprised her. She had known she'd love the baby - that was only normal, wasn't it. But she had been surprised at the depth of the love and at the sudden all-consuming conviction that something was going to go wrong - that something would happen to Charlotte. Claire knew she had a good team around her, that her family would always rally round should she need it. And, she grinned to herself, she had to admit that she included Nick and Alex in that family. Particularly Alex.  
  
Making herself more comfortable, Claire began to think about Alex Ryan. She couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been there for her - whether she had wanted him there or not. He was always there, always in the background, ready with support, attention and a swift kick in the pants when she needed it. Not that she ever had - well, not that often anyway. And Meg was right, really. Alex would make a good father figure for Charlotte - would have been a good father for Charlotte. And again the thought drew Claire up short. Where were these thoughts coming from? Peter was the biological father. Peter.  
  
Claire rolled the name around in her head and found that she had no reaction at all. No small shiver, no clench of the heart, no butterflies in the tummy. Nothing. Just the knowledge that Peter was Charlotte's father and therefore had the right to see his child. If he wanted to. Which he hadn't yet. And was showing no sign of doing so in the near future. Unlike Alex, who had visited daily, sometimes more than once. Unlike Alex who had obviously formed a bond with Charlotte and cared about the baby a great deal. Unlike Alex who was doing all he could for them.  
  
Claire sat back and thought about Alex. About the way he cared for Charlotte and - and cared for her. Claire had never doubted that Alex cared about her, but until now the relationship between the two of them had been one of friendship - a true, everlasting friendship, but nothing more. Until now.  
  
And it was all Meg's fault. Meg had planted the seed. Meg had made Claire think this way. Think these thoughts about Alex. To think about those oh so blue eyes, to think about the way his muscles rippled as he moved, to think about the way those tight jeans move - and you can just stop that RIGHT there Claire McLeod, she told herself.  
  
Except that she didn't.  
  
Meg stood at the window watching Claire. Smiling, she watched as a range of emotions played across Claire's face. Outside, Claire smiled and shuddered simultaneously. What did all of this mean? Was she attracted to Alex? To ALEX? And would it be such a bad thing if she was? Sure he was a friend, a good friend, but would it be so terrible to - well to go that extra step and to allow herself to fall in love with him?  
  
And again Claire drew a sharp breath.  
  
Where had that one come from? In love with Alex? In love with Alex Ryan? And yet a small niggle at the back of her mind was screaming out to Claire that all of this, it wasn't anything that she didn't already know, it wasn't something that she hadn't always felt on some level. And would it really be so bad to let herself feel this way?  
  
Of course it would, she told herself. After all, what was the point - Alex only saw her as a friend, nothing more - and to let herself fall for him, well that would only lead to heartbreak.  
  
Meg continued to watch Claire.  
  
Claire sighed, she'd done it now. She'd let it out, and now that it was out it wouldn't go back. Feelings, emotions were a real burden. Claire prided herself in being a strong independent woman, and yet here she was in love with her next door neighbour and now she had realised it, she was unable to stop it. She was unable to stop loving this man, the man who had always been around, who loved her daughter like his own, and who looked so damn good in those snug fitting jeans.  
  
Meg watched as Claire smiled softly.  
  
"Meg?" she said, and Meg jumped, he expression one of a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
"What am I going to do? And don't deny it. You always could read me."  
  
Meg came and sat beside her, gently taking Charlotte from Claire.  
  
"Go and talk to him. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I promised him I wouldn't say anything, and so I won't, but if you talk to him - well it might just be that you'll find what you're looking for." Meg stood up and with her free arm, she pulled Claire to her feet. "Go on Claire. Go and see him - go now, please. For me, for Charlotte and most importantly, for you."  
  
In a voice uncharacteristically full of trepidation, Claire managed to whisper "Really?"  
  
"Really." Said Meg, giving her a little shove towards Blaze. "Go" 


	2. Meanwhile, back on the ranch

Meg smiled as she watched Blaze carry Claire towards Wilgul. As ever, Claire rode smoothly, but to Meg's trained eye, it appeared that Blaze was leading Claire, rather than Claire riding Blaze. Meg smiled. Only Claire would do that, trust an animal rather than trust herself. Claire trusted Blaze to get her to Wilgul, letting herself think about what she would find there. She knew she had to talk to Alex, but what in the name of, in the name of Charlotte Prudence was she going to say.  
  
"Where's Claire going?" said Tess, shielding her eyes as she squinted at her sister.  
  
"Tess! Good grief, don't do that!" yelled Meg, turning and making her way back into the kitchen. "Now, what would you like for dinner? How were the shee - "  
  
"Meg - what's going on? Where's Claire going?"  
  
"Would you believe she's exercising Blaze?"  
  
"No."  
  
"She's excercising herself?" continued Meg - she couldn't tell Tess, Claire needed to figure it out first before -  
  
"MEG! What's going on? Is Claire all right? Is there anything wrong? Meg please, you're worrying me?"  
  
"There's nothing to worry about - she's just gone to see Alex, is all"  
  
"Well why couldn't you just say that? There's nothing wrong with that, they're always around each other. Why couldn't you tell me that?"  
  
"No reason." Said Meg, making her way around the kitchen and burying her head in the fridge.  
  
Small fireworks began going of inside Tess' mind. What could be going on that Meg wouldn't tell her that Claire was going to see Alex? It wasn't as if Claire could be missing him, she thought, Alex had been around a lot lately, he'd been here almost every day, it felt natural seeing him here at Drovers with Claire and Charlotte. It was almost like he was part of the family, as if he and Claire were the real parents of Little Bomb, as if Claire had realised -  
  
"OH MY GOD! You mean she's gone to see Alex? To SEE see Alex? You mean that she KNOWS?"  
  
"Tess! Shut up for goodness sake! Anyway, knows what?" said Meg, hiding her head amongst the cabbage once more.  
  
"Oooh, don't even try it Meg" grinned Tess. "What happened? How did she find out?"  
  
"Find out what?" managed Meg, although she knew she was fighting a losing battle.  
  
"Find out that she's in love with him, find out that she's always been in love with him, and find out that Alex is the perfect father for Charlotte and the perfect man for her?" "That." Stalled Meg.  
  
"That." Agreed Tess, an impish grin blazing across her face.  
  
Meg shut the fridge and slumped at the kitchen table.  
  
"Ok, ok, but keep it down, for goodness sake. I'm sure Claire will tell the others when she's good and ready. If there's anything TO tell."  
  
"Yeah right, as if Alex is going to turn round and tell her to get lost. He ADORES Claire, always has, whatever he might do or say. Everyone knows that"  
  
"Well, they may KNOW that, but getting them to actually DO something about it, that's a whole other option. You know how stubborn they are. And Alex made me promise not to say anything, and it wasn't as if he actually told me he loved Claire, he was talking to Charlotte at the time and - "  
  
"Alex SAID he loved Claire? Out loud?" squeaked Tess, almost losing her voice in happiness. "This is soooo good. What about Claire? What did she say? Does she know he said that? Did - "  
  
"Tess, for goodness sake! All right, all right I'll tell you, but so help me, if you breathe a word of this before Claire gets back, you'll be cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next month, year for - "  
  
"I get it, Meg. Now talk!"  
  
Meg took a deep breath, praying that all went well and that Claire and Alex finally realised what the rest of them had known for years, that they were meant to be together, that they were destined to be together and in Meg's opinion destiny didn't make mistakes. Well, not often, I mean there was the time when - A shake on here arm brought Meg back to the present, coming face to face with an excited Tess.  
  
"Meg! Spill!"  
  
And so she did. Meg told Tess all about Alex's conversation with the child who should have been his daughter. About his declaration of love for both Charlotte and Claire, and about his insistence that she, Meg, say nothing to anyone. And then Meg told Tess about what she had seen in Claire, about the way she had 'read' Claire, seen the awareness appear, had watched Claire realise she loved Alex.  
  
And about the way she had told Claire to go and see Alex. 


	3. Teasting the merchandise

Claire was miles away as Blaze made his way across the countryside towards Wilgul. Thoughts were spiralling around inside her head. Thoughts over which she had no control. She knew she was doing the right thing in going to tell Alex, she had to tell him, but was now the right time? Surely it could wait, I mean I don't even know what I want to say, and I'm sure Charlotte needs feeding and then there's the drenching that needs to be done, she told herself.  
  
She had almost convinced herself to turn back, when a buzzing behind her caught her attention. She turned in the saddle to pinpoint the noise, smiling despite herself when she saw Alex riding towards her.  
  
"Hey, McLeod!" he called, willing himself not to jump off the bike and ravish her there and then. She had looked so beautiful as she rode, her dark hair flowing in the wind, her riding style poised and perfect. Turning the bike off, he walked over to Claire, who remained on Blaze.  
  
Claire tightened her grip on the reins. Alex really was a gorgeous man, all muscle and blue, blue eyes. Not that that was all there was to him, she told herself, looks aren't everything - although they definitely were a bonus, she thought, her eyebrows rising at the thought.  
  
"What? " Alex grinned, having noticed her eyes trail up and down his body. "Looking good, hey?"  
  
Claire busied herself in dismounting Blaze, her actions not quite hiding the blush that blazed across her face. She missed her mark slightly, her preoccupation with Alex causing her to meet the ground slightly faster than expected. Stumbling, she found herself in Alex's arms as he leaped forward to catch her. As if in an automatic reaction to having Claire in his arms, Alex tightened his grip on her, his hands caressing her arms, his eyes seeking hers.  
  
Claire stared up at him, and for the merest of seconds she really thought he was going to kiss her. She saw it in his eyes, the love, the passion and the desire - and she saw him turn it all off as quickly as it had appeared.  
  
"Watch it McLeod, don't fool with the merchandise" he grinned as he stepped away from her and straightened his shirt. Glancing away from the woman in front of him, Alex willed himself to get a grip on his emotions. He could wait, he told himself. Claire needed more time; she wasn't ready for a relationship. Looking back at her, he felt his heart stop. She always had been beautiful, but just now, flushed and breathless, she was all he would ever need. It was all he could do not to pull her to him and kiss her until the cows came home - literally.  
  
Claire swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. There was no denying it, she had seen the look he had given her, and she had also seen the way he had repressed it. Reaching up a slightly shaking hand, she ran her hand through her hair, before replacing her hat firmly on her head.  
  
"As if!" she finally managed in reply. And there it was again, the flash of emotion, the hurt swiftly covered up by another grin.  
  
"You'll never know unless you try" he said, the silence that followed broken only by the soft whinny of the horse beside them. Taking her heart in both hands, Claire looked at Alex.  
  
"What - " she swallowed again, this was going to be difficult, I mean, this was Alex - the Alex who had dunked her in the waterhole aged 8, the Alex who had taken part in mud fights during the storms when she was 16, the Alex who had stepped up to be Charlotte's father - the Alex with whom Claire was now so desperately and completely in love.  
  
Alex took a step closer to her, confused and concerned by her actions.  
  
"What, what if - "  
  
"Claire?"  
  
By now he was so close she could feel the heat radiating from him. Reaching out, he ran a hand down her arm, his concern clouding his determination not to touch her. Claire stared up into his beautiful blue eyes and heard herself continue.  
  
"What if I want to try the merchandise?  
  
The glimmer of a smile threatened to break free as Claire heard Alex's almost imperceptible gasp as he took in what she had just said.  
  
"McL- Claire - wh - did you just say - did you just say what I think you just said?"  
  
And it was all there; Alex's face was an open book. Surprise, hope, delight and love chased each other through his soul, eventually breaking out in the biggest grin Claire had ever seen.  
  
"Claire - what are you say - ah the hell with it" he said, pulling Claire to him and wrapping her in his arms. "I've wanted to do this for so long," he murmured into her hair. Raising his eyes to hers Alex stared at her. Jumping in with both feet, Alex shut his eyes and told her.  
  
"Claire McLeod, I love you. I always have and I always will. Whatever happens, you have to know that I love you."  
  
His heart stopped in the following silence, starting only again as he felt a small, but passionate kiss grace his lips.  
  
"Alex? Alex, look at me, please."  
  
Alex opened his eyes and smiled at the woman who fit so perfectly in his arms.  
  
"Alex, I - you, you've always been there for me. Everywhere I look, everywhere I go, there you are - whether I want you there or not" she grinned poking him in the shoulder. He grinned back, praying to every god he'd ever heard of that she wasn't going to brush him off after he had opened his soul to her. Claire never did have a good time talking about things; she was true to her heritage, finding it hard to talk about emotions, preferring to suppress her emotions than to give into them. Alex slowly lowered his arms and drew Claire out of the sunlight and into the shade of a nearby eucalypt.  
  
Claire shivered, having grown used to being in Alex's embrace. Turning to him, she caught a momentary flash of fear, as if he feared his heart was about to be trampled and returned to him on a plate. Sighing, she realised that she shouldn't be so hurt by his reaction; she never had been one for putting her emotions out there for all to see. But this, this was precious; this had to be grabbed with both hands and never let go. Alex loves me, she thought to herself, a bubble of happiness growing inside. He really truly loves me and - and I love him. So tell him, you fool! She admonished herself, reading the growing anxiety that crawled across his face.  
  
Alex's heart was breaking. He'd told her, finally told her and she didn't get it. His heart was out there for her to see, and McLeod didn't want it. And suddenly it was more than he could take. Brushing past her, Alex made for his bike.  
  
It took Claire a couple of seconds to realise that Alex was leaving, and that he still thought she didn't love him. Chasing after him, she grabbed his arm and swung him round. "Alex wait!  
  
"Yeah, sure McLeod. I'll hang around so you can trample over my emotions, so you can laugh about the fact that I love you more than I've ever loved any woman!" he yelled.  
  
"Oh now wait just a minute Alexander Ryan! Don't you dare speak to me like that, not when I'm just about to tell you that I love you too! Don't you dare tell me that I don't love you when I love you so much it scares me! Don't you ever tell me that" she yelled back at him.  
  
There was a silence while the implications of their words sank in.  
  
"Ok." Said Alex, reaching out a hand towards her.  
  
"Ok" said Claire, taking his hand and wrapping herself in his hug.  
  
Staring up at him Claire smiled softly as Alex took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Running one hand through her silky dark hair, his fingers came to rest under her chin. Raising it so that he could look deep into her eyes, he stared down at her, his blue eyes revealing all of the love he felt for her. Her smile widened as he spoke. She knew what he was going to say, and she knew what her reply would be.  
  
"Ok, McLeod, I'm going to kiss you now." He said, lowering his lips towards hers. Just before they met, she murmured,  
  
"And about bloody time too!" 


End file.
